Archive | December 2015

The thirst for restoration

I have always believed that failure isn’t the end of the road. I believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have heard a number of preachers and motivational speakers state that no matter the circumstance, we will come out victorious and be able to stand firm on God’s Word.

What do you do when you have spent your entire life relying on God but still feel a void and emptiness? How do you progress from there? Although I have been in church pretty much all my life, sometimes I feel empty and purposeless. I ask myself why the emptiness? Am I not fully living my life?

Have I been over compromising? Have I been too hard on myself? What should I do in such circumstances? What happens with my life? Where do I go from here? Am I only alive or actually living?

I always tell myself that I would like to travel, visit the world, live life to the fullest and be happy, hence be restored and joyful.

People around me always think and say that my life is perfect because I tend to look good on the outside. If only they could understand that we are all fighting a battle in life. Although I may smile, I as well as several others live with the hope of a better tomorrow.

Are things not working out for me because of the choices I make?

Am I happy with myself?

Am I happy with my job?

Am I happy with my education?

Am I happy with my side hustle?

Am I happy with my family and friends?

What would eventually quench my thirst?

Can I really live my life by doing what I am passionate about?

Let me be real with you, sometimes I do cry. I cried this week both privately and publicly, was disappointed, felt betrayed and stuck with no available option.

What do I do to live again? How do I balance my outward and inward self?

I might look good on the outside but what is the condition of my heart? Inside I am hurting and feel disappointed.

Though Sorrow may last for a night I know my joy is coming.

As a 20 something year old lady I ask that you please show me the way Lord. Order my steps and restore my joy, love, peace, grace and favor.

In God I trust!


Till next week