So, I am a twenty-something year old, still far from the mid-twenties but I’m not a newbie to the twenties either.
(This information is quite relevant for the rest of the story.)
I’m not quite sure what it is but I’ve always been pegged as much older than I actually am. For example, when I was 17, people thought I was 20, when I was 20, everyone was so sure I was 25 etc. Sometimes, it’s a good thing, other times, it just makes me think I look old. When it began to bother me a lot, I took to asking people why they thought of me as older. Do I look old? I asked. Or is it that I dress like an older lady? At some point, I was convinced that it was because I grew up with my grandparents. I must have picked up their ways, I concluded. People always answered that I really just come off as mature and it has nothing to do with my looks or the way I dress. It also doesn’t help that my friends are usually much older too.
Anyway, for this reason, I find that I tend to be approached by older men.
I had just moved to a new city for an internship and I was loving it so far. I met lots of new people and as usual, I hung out with the older crowd. I met this guy at one of these hang-out sessions. He was cute and seemed nice but I didn’t think too much of him. At the time, I wasn’t even looking to get into a relationship. Anyway, this young man, let’s call him X, added me on Facebook, we later exchanged numbers and we got talking. We chatted a lot for the next week and found out we had quite a lot in common. X then asks me out a date and it was a beautiful evening. He spent most of it talking – but for the first time, I didn’t mind that a guy didn’t let me speak on a date. I was completely satisfied listening to him say all the intelligent things he had to say.
After dinner, he dropped me off at home and on the ride home, he asks to come up to my place because he didn’t want to go home just yet. I was thrilled because I was beginning to like him and in my mind that meant he liked me too and wanted to spend more time with me.
So, X came up and we watched funny videos on the internet and talked about all sorts then I mentioned that I was leaving in about 2 months. He asked where I was moving to and I said back to school. He looked confused. And then I explained how I was only there for an internship and I still had over 12 months of school to complete. Then of course he asked how old I was and … ladies and gentlemen, that was the end. He was visibly shocked and went on to say that I could pass for a much older lady and that he had no idea that I was just a coop student. Shortly after this revelation, he then realized that it was late and he had to go home. He kept in touch but it wasn’t like before. I could tell that the fact that I was still in my very early twenties was a deal breaker so that’s how X slipped away. I was actually sad, it wasn’t the first time, my age was a shock to a potential suitor but it was the first time I had really hoped it wouldn’t matter much *sigh* We never really directly addressed it but I later gathered that he was looking to date someone much older with a much more stable life (i.e graduated, possibly working, not likely to move too much etc).
Guy X is just one of many cases. There have been several others. I suppose as I get older and my life becomes more stable, guys would hopefully not be so intimated by the huge age gap between us. I personally don’t mind being with a much older guy as long as he is adventurous.
The mature twenty-something
Ps: So how would you feel if it were you?
Till next week:)