This world has been shaped in a way that we learn to live by certain standards and life principles in an attempt to conform to societal norms and ways of living. Did I just say conform? But what principles do we follow? (Eyes roll).
Just like most 20 something year old ladies, I desire and aspire to have that perfect relationship (hahhaha if you know what am talking about). On a random evening, I got a text from one of my girlfriends telling me that one of her male friends told her of a friend (Mr X) who was interested in meeting a young lady with some of the following characteristics: interesting, smart, Cameroonian and ‘bamileke’ (that’s my tribe – feel free to google for more info). The list of qualities can go and on. Since my girlfriend knew I was single and obviously searching (wink), she decided to share my contact with her male friend who eventually passed it on to Mr. X, with whom I ended up going on 2 dates. Fast forward to 1.5 months later, Mr. X began telling me he wanted the ‘cookie’ and how I should move in with him (woo-hoo). Not too fast dude; with him clearly stating that he can’t be in a relationship without having his ‘cookie’. Hence the conclusion, why would he buy a book when he can borrow it?
I was surprised by his request, mainly because; it was only over a month that we began talking/seeing each other. I had hinted at my life principles as a Christian lady in one of our conversations, but wasn’t explicit. Oh let’s not forget that Mr. X equally claimed to be a Christian, but didn’t take the Bible 100% (only practiced what was convenient for him). After this scenario, I learned that we have to be explicit from the get go about what our life principles, desires and standards are. Why should I go against my standards and belief just to be in a relationship and please someone else ‘selfish’ needs? Let’s not forget that two friends (who know me too well) once questioned me about my interest in Mr. X and whether I told him about my principles and standards. My response to them was a ‘Big YES’, but had I really spoken to him about it? The response is ‘NO’. I just played along to capture his attention; with the hopes of it turning into a beautiful relationship.
I am not judging Mr. X, but this encounter ended up being a life lesson for me and I quickly turned down his request and never looked back in that direction. I thank my friends for that reminder.
Till next week..